A Christmas Gift for Divan

Anyone who knows Divan, knows him as friendly and fun to be with.  He does, however, have the tendency to find friends who get him into trouble.  He has had a rough High School career because of this.  I always say that he has an internal magnet that pulls these characters towards him.  He is very impulsive and won't think before he does something which ultimately gets him into a spot of bother.  We love him all the same and try to guide and counsel him constantly without getting into his personal space.

At Christmas, Dennis's girlfriend, Robyn, was helping Dennis buy Christmas gifts for his brothers.  Dennis decided on arm bands from Gospel Direct - very nice leather arm bands with a silver plate with a engraved cross on it.  (I think he was hoping it would ward off evil spirits). 

After handing out the gifts on Christmas eve, Divan and Dylan were very pleased with their gifts from Dennis.  Robyn leant over the table and said to me: " There were no WWJD arm bands....." (What Would Jesus Do.)

The sweet smell of memories

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a new fragrance in our offices.  A friendly fragrance, if you know what I mean? Pleasant.  But I could never figure out where it came from.  I asked a few of my colleagues if they had changed their perfume, smelled a few wrists, but it wasn't the fragrance I had picked up in the passages.

Our office cleaning lady walked into my office about a week later - and I picked up the fragrance again.  It was her! The perfume reminded me of something or someone.  You know the feeling when it's there.... you almost have it, but then it disappears like mist leaving an empty feeling behind.

The fragrance is Rare Pearls from Avon and I immediately ordered it from them.  It arrived yesterday and I was really excited about it.  But I still couldn't place the memory.  It was a good memory, I could feel that much, but what it was I didn't know.

Eager to show it off to Dennis, I opened it in the kitchen and let him smell. "Mmmmm, nice." (I'm on this new 'wish I was more feminine' trip....).  Divan then took the bottle from me, smelled it, looked at me again, smelled it again, and then said: "Dis Ouma Helen."

And then I knew, I smelled her.  And it WAS a good memory.  I miss you Mom.

Welcome to MY world

Seeing as both Divan and Dylan are finished with exams, Dennis (my husband) decided that to keep them busy he would organise a part time job for them.  This was easily arranged as the company he works for is in the process of moving from one premises to another.
Both boys are going through a body building phase and had asked whether they could join a gym in December so that they could lift weights and be 'ripped' by January.   They were not impressed when we told them that they would be lifting 'weights' during December packing up a factory!  What's the problem? - they are getting paid to get 'ripped' and I'm not getting 'ripped' off paying for the gym!
They were due to start bright and early on Tuesday morning.  Decked out in their tracksuit pants and t-shirts, I dropped them off at 06h15 - all bright eyed and bushy tailed.
It was another story when I picked them up at 18h15..... both were wearing overalls with their tracksuit pants under their arms - dead tired!  Divan immediately lay down on the back seat and Dylan got in beside me.  "So", I said, "How was your day?" trying to hide my smile.
"Look at my arms!" exclaimed Dylan "I look like an emo who failed" (scratches from the boxes running across his wrists).  "We packed 96 boxes!!!" from the back seat.
Later during the evening, I asked Dylan whether he had heard from his girlfriend during the day.  " I had no contact with the outside world...." he tells me. :)
Divan, resting his head on the armrest of the sofa, looks at me and says: "Do you know what it's like to know you have to go back to work tomorrow?"
And I smile and say: "Welcome to my world."

It's here somewhere.....

Dylan is half way through his matric exams and has decided to clean his room, throw out all the junk and rearrange his desk so that he actually has a space to sit and study at.  I don't know what inspired him to do this NOW, maybe the fact that he only has 5 more exams to go - maybe the fact that even the tedious task of cleaning one's room is better than swotting Chemistry.....
I walked in from work and found Dylan grinning in the passage.  "Have you seen my room?" he eagerly asks me (bear in mind I have just parked the car in the garage, stumbled through the garage door into the passage bearing two SPAR bags full of groceries and balancing my handbag between them and my thigh with the car keys between my teeth).
"Ugghhghh" I mumble through the leather key holder.
Once I had placed the bags down, sliding my bag down my leg onto the floor and spitting the key onto the counter, I walked back down the passage to his room.
Sure enough - all clean and tidy, and rearranged.  The books and papers on his desk are arranged in tidy piles. 
"This is great, Dylan" I say "Now you actually know where everything is."
"I knew that before" he says surveying his kingdom with pride.
"You did?" I question
"Yes," he says" It was somewhere on my desk."

Are you old enough to know what you want?

I was joking with a friend that I would love to write a book entitled: What they never told you about raising children.  Don't get me wrong.  I adore my kids.  Each one unique, each one a challenge on his own.  But one of the things no-one told me, is how to sit back and let your child make decisions which could have an impact on his life, without parent interferance.

I'm not talking about alchohol or smoking here - I will definitely get involved, doesn't matter what anyone says!  I'm talking about decisions where he could benefit if he only persisted.

Divan has been blessed with so much sporting potential - every sport he has ever tried his hand at, he has excelled at.  But he does not really seem to realise how good he really is. Do I keep telling him this - or do I back off?  Maybe I'm too involved in his life......  What is too involved?

Perhaps what I'm trying to say is that I suppose there is no black and white where it comes to raising children.  There is a lot of grey - and I think I'd better start liking grey, after all, it is my natural hair colour now......  

I wish I could be like you....

It's 5 September and the day that was so far away at the beginning of the year, has crept up and surprised me in the wink of an eye - the first day of Dylan's record exams.
I'm a nervous wreck - wondering what I can do to help.  Does he need extra exam pads for swotting, does he have pens, pencils - anything else?  Is he eating breakfast, does he have lunch?  My mind is occupied by university entrance exams, second choice universities, what ifs?  whys?
And Dylan is drifting along at his usual pace, cool as a cucumber, no worries. 
Now, does that mean I need to worry more, because he's not worried?  Or should I just calm down too.  (I'd really like to use what he's using!  Maybe he's smoking his corn flakes????)
This morning we had car trouble - the boot won't open.  So in order to put the school bags etc. in the car, we need to push the back seats forward and load them in through the back passenger doors.  When we got to the school, we unloaded Divan's hockey bag, Divan's school bag, Divan's Cricket bag, Divans' friend's bag...... but no Dylan's school bag!!!  I could already see myself racing home in peak hour traffic, pick up the bag, race back to school to make it in time to hand him his bag.  I was sitting breathless with all the rushing around in my head, and Dylan - with his earphones in his ears and his music playing away on his cell - looks at me and says "I won't need my bag" and strolls off to the school gate...... (I really need what he's taking.........!!!!)
Dylan takes each day as it comes, only worries about the important things and doesn't let the little things bother him.  He weighs each problem up and decides whether it's worth it to get angry, worried or upset.  I taught him well - I just wish I could remember the lessons!

Moonbase

Want to know how to improve your relationship with your children?  Join them on Moonbase!!

For those of you who don't know this, Moonbase is a game on the MXIT social network.  You start a Moonbase with Oxygen mines, Water generators, Iron mines and Helium mines.  Upgrading your mines is your first priority in order for them to generate enough resources to upgrade your buildings like your communication centre, work yard, war room, radar, silo (to hold your resources), bunker (to hide your resources) and research lab.   The purpose of the game is to build your population and survive the attacks from raiders, and build and expansion module so that you can create more bases.  It's of paramount importance to be part of a strong alliance! (Something like Star Wars......)

This is a great opportunity to be someone else - you select a name for yourself and for your moonbase and start playing.

The great thing is, I have two sons quite active on this game!  I have been trying to upgrade my base, build my 'pop' but keep getting attacked by this one individual.  I was getting very despondent and was seriously thinking of giving up - and who comes to my rescue????

"Hey Mom, don't worry, I'll send you reinforcements to help defend you."
"Mom, what resources do you need to upgrade so that you can build more moon buggies?"
"Don't worry Mom, the alliance will stand together and take him out!"

In this day and age, my sons don't get the chance to fight for my honour as their mother.  On moonbase they get that opportunity and it makes me feel good that they would sacrifice their resources, moonbuggies and base for me.

You might think it trivial, but my heart is warmed by my sons' love in this 'other dimension'.